I analyze myself preparation to it and I realize that, the more I practice, the less I know. This deconstruction of the mind, of the practice experience and knowledge, brings a new sense to me. There are ups and downs in the practice; I know that they are not related to less or more will to practice. They are related to the circumstances of life. Sometimes, my mind is not only in the dojo. And that is normal! Practicing less is not giving up or don´t want to practice.
The important is not stopping and not rationalizing too much. When I start doing this, I don´t arrive to any concrete conclusion. So, why worry? I just want to practice, improve myself and my consciousness on the practice, do my research work and continue to develop what makes sense to me.
My life is my practice. My practice is my life. As a Portuguese poet – Fernando Pessoa – says: “… the necessary is to create.”
The way of the practice brings a new discover of yourself. Bad or good days, we all have it. Profit those days to understand how you react to the practice and to realize what you are feeling towards what you have to face training alone, or with your partner. I read that battle is not with the opponent, but with me and only with myself.